I had a nice time today. I went to Kiama to visit Nic. Well, we dropped her home after the theatre because mum was going to Austinmer and so it meant I coudl go and take Nic home. We ate lots of yummy food and we talked and we frolicked on the rocks at the beach which was all very relaxing and therapeutic- until I reach my own world again. Driving on long car trips is fun too, it made me think about how much fun it will be to go to Adelaide. Driving about, its so much more pleasant when there is no traffic on the road too.
I feel sick. I think it may be the Thai food we ate last night that was so way entirely spicy that I wanted to throw up. But so way tasty too. And the play was so the best. And Nic met a cute theatre guy and gave him her number… All so exciting. Its things like that that are so unplanned that are so exciting. I never got no one liking me when I threw up at Belvoir. LIfe is so unfair. He was really nice too.
I start ooni tomorrow. Sad. I spose its good. I don’t want another 14 weeks of stress really. I have decided now that I won’t get stressed though. I can afford to let my marks slip a bit for the sake of less stress. And besides its good for me not to try so hard. I bet most people don’t say that. I am officially going to try less hard this semester. Although I do think that somewhere in Proverbs it says something about if you aren’t going to do something as well as you can, don’t bother. But I think I am practicing a different rule, I know how to do that. I am practicing- lets not be so competitive eh. And and and, lets not be too hard on ourselves if we don’t get a distinction. Man I’m stupid sometimes.
I think life is unfair. I suppose thats no incredibly new revelation. But I think it is. I need a lot of strength at the moment. The only thing keeping me up is that I know if I can get through tough times, things will get better.
One thing I suppose I’m thanking God for at the moment is the courage he has given me. I don’t want to sound arrogant, but I suppose I’ve had to do a few things lately that have required incredible amounts of courage, and I’m still suffering the after effects. This courage has meant a lot of good things I think. Although, I don’t feel like they are the best for me, I’m still grateful to God for it because I know its best.
I feel very sad at the moment. I don’t really even know why.
I am mostly enjoying time alone more than anything- hence why I feel like hiding (and other reasons too). I am also grateful for this too. I haven’t really valued spending time with myself as much as I am now. Alhtough it doesn’t make everything easier sadly.
Tomorrow starts New Ooni Semester Resolution Routines. Uh huh. I am going running tomorrow, and doing some Yoga and even walking to Hornsby. All that before Ooni. And then on Tuesdays it will be swimming. It is going to be alternate exercise each day. I am excited. I hope I don’t flunk.
And so now, I may go and read my bible. As that is the easiest way for me to be happy at the moment. Although I do get a little emotional as I do. I don’t know why. Perhaps I just am that way at the moment.

This entry was posted on Sunday, August 1st, 2004 at 10:00 pm.