I think it might be impossible for the word communicative not to sound like a complete wank.
You know, it’s funny, because communication is so hearty and great, and I have learnt comes from the latin verb for community. And also to create and build. It’s so marvellous and then they just go and let it have stupid words like communicative associated with it. I just don’t get it.

The other day I was in the car, eating an apple, looking up the street directory and talking…all at the same time. Someone says to me.
“That suits you. An apple in your mouth and talking at the same time.”

: )

“And every year it gets a little bit harder to get back to that feeling of like when we were fifteen.”
- Josh Pyke

It’s exhausting being an adult sometimes.

I used to feel like I had lots of things to blog. And I thought that I had sort of stopped because I ran out of time. But I don’t know that it is. I think it’s that every time I think to write on my blog I have nothing to say. The past (long) while, I think I feel like I have much more listening to do before I do much talking. There have been some pretty amazing people in my life that have taught me some pretty amazing things the past while and I feel a bit unable to articulate anything. I think some of it is that I feel like I am learning lots from other people, but I could write about that. But I think I find that more importantly is that these learnings are probably non-verbal, they are more being learnings or something. I can’t really explain it. But maybe my point is, that while I don’t have anything to say, I don’t feel empty. And that’s important.

Autumn is my most beloved season and I have this sense of sadness when it starts to end. I get upset that the wind blows the leaves off and that the tree must end up bare. I don’t understand why it has to be so insensitive, why can’t it just leave the beauty there for up to keep.
But I was looking at the autumn trees today, as they make that transition into winter emptiness and they have a strange peace about them. I know nothing that accepts its transition with such acceptance and stoicism. I run around feeling sad and sorry, but they sort of accept their fate. In some ways their beauty comes from the fact that they are already dead, with a final beauty of their peaceful departure. It’s a hopeful falling that they have those leaves.
I think those leaves taught me something today.

Claire bought me some pretty flowers yesterday. That was nice. The best part was they inspired me to clean my room and I feel so much better and on top of my life.

Autumn makes me so happy. I think because the world turns red. We have the most amazing persimmon tree in our backyard that this afternoon I just couldn’t resist taking my red teacup and laptop out the back.

Gem hinted a tone of disappointment in my scarcity in blogging of late. So I thought I might write a post about my spontaneous little adventure to Melbourne the past few days.
I’d been wanting to go visit Gem and David for awhile now and so I just decided I would. And I did. And I am very happy that I did. It was short but more than sweet. It was the kind of sweet that would make even a non-diabetics sugar levels go through the roof. There was actually nothing that wasn’t great. It was all good and nice and every other adjective of positivism that one can use to describe something. I was very happy being there and my happiness oozed into shop keepers which made me think that Melbourners are just the friendliest chaps ever. Some of the things that filled my little heart with glee were as follows:
- Catching trams
- Having dinner in the laneway at the slightly suspicious dumpling restaurant with Gem and Merrin and her kids.
- Late night random visits to David’s house.
- The never ending amounts of kiwis.
- Visiting Urban Seed and seeing how beautiful and colourful and homely it is.
- Seeing Gem at Urban Seed and how great she is for it and it is for her.
- Going on the Melbourne sightseeing run.
- Getting excited about dumpster diving and freeganism.
- Cups of tea on the fire escape.
- Buying the Macro store out of its reduced to clear foods. $1 bag of bananas perfect for banana cake!
- Visiting Cameron
- Sitting on the roof in the middle of the city drinking wine with Gem and Dave
- Visiting Credo lunch and meeting lovely people who have warm and hospitable hearts. This filled me with a huge sense of encouragement and hope.
- Brekky with David
- Yummy Afghani food and the beautiful man
- The copious amounts of documentary ideas I came up with.
- The red triangle visit. The pool hall that rocks.
- Missing Kevin Rudd by 2 hours
- The all nighter that Gem and I pulled. I felt so disgusting all Friday but it was still worth it.

I’ll now refrain from words like ‘good’ and ‘nice’ because it was more than that and words may not do it justice. And more than these “events”, the whole experience warmed my heart and filled me with joy.

I’ve been wanting to write about university for a while now. I’m 6 weeks in and haven’t really stopped since the second I started. But it’s been a joyous 6 weeks. It’s just like I always imagined uni should be. I am learning so much, being so stimulated, thinking so much, feeling so stupid but excited about it, craving to understand more and more.

I never knew what I wanted to do. It always upset me to know all these people who did know what they wanted to do. And I was a bit floaty. But after 4 years of wandering around I finally know what I want to do. I would never have picked journalism, but I feel like I was born to do this. I love journalism. We are a happy match. And the more I do it the more I realise exactly why a designer turned journo is the perfect fit for me.

And the fact that I am so happy and satisfied makes me want to burst with more happiness. Maybe even more happiness than the Blues and Roots Fest made me want to burst. This has been the epitome of delayed gratification. And I am so glad I am only doing this now, after all this wondering, it is such an exciting feeling.

I’ve been thinking I wanted to ask anyone who read news blogs or the like to send me there favourite 3. Maybe in celebration of this exciting new life.

Its’ odd, I think the song that makes me most nostalgic for Mexico is the Seachange Theme Song. It’s this very strange nostalgia that makes me long for the longing for Australia being in Mexico. Being in Australia doesn’t quite satiate that longing. The longing now is to be in Mexico with Cara and Gabs longing for Australia. We are very odd creatures.